![]() That has been a lifelong journey and continues to be a lifelong journey, learning who am I as an erotic being without all the layers of culture, shaming and parental upbringing and breaking the generational patterns that have chained my mom to her mom so that it stops with me, that it doesn’t get passed on, that that shaming doesn’t get passed on, that I’m taught that consent is okay now.Ĭonsent wasn’t taught but, “I’m bad,” is what’s taught. I took on beliefs about myself but then it became my mission to unravel all of the shame that happened so that I could live sexually free. ![]() It’s tight inside of me that wouldn’t go out. No matter what people told me, no matter what my parents said, no matter what my grandmother said, I had this thing inside of me that would not go out. It was like it wouldn’t be shamed out of me. I promise.” There was somewhere in me I knew inherently that there was a message that something was not right about me and it wasn’t okay. I promise.” Then I turned seven and I’d be like, “Dear God, I’ll stop touching myself when I turn fourteen. I used to pray at night, “Dear God, I’ll stop touching myself when I turn seven. “Don’t touch that,” even just self-touch on our own bodies. We were doing something curious and were gotten shamed out of us. We all have an inciting event somewhere our sexuality where we’re exploring, we’re playing doctor. This is not okay and it’s not okay to be this way.” I got those messages very early on. One moment that stuck out was I was playing, “I’ll show you mine and you show me yours.” I got caught and was beaten for it. All the little shame pieces that piled up. I remember being very young and the inciting events of shame. ![]() How did it feel growing up with this interest and desire to share, discuss and be free around it? ![]() We had the ’60s, which blew everything up and then we went into the ’70s and ’80s, which closed everything down. You grew up in a time, in my impression, before sexuality was progressive. If you’re interested in sports, that works but you’re interested in sex. How did that go in terms of social acceptance? What I mean specifically is if you’re into music, that’s socially allowed. Somehow, I saw her somewhere and I was like, “This is what I want to do with my life.” Here I am, I’m doing it but I’d been doing it since I was young. I had this drive and I told my parents I wanted to be Dr. I had it from the beginning, just like people loved music or drums or accounting. I got to kiss boys and then tell them how to do it better. From a very young age, complete in total care, I see my mom had pictures of me. Let me tell you about pleasure.” No matter where I went, I was that truesome. Let me tell you the truth about where babies came from. I was the one who was like, “No, babies didn’t come from there. I have always had a natural curiosity and joy about sexuality. A lot of it has been through my own self-healing but a lot of it was the joy around sexuality. I came into this world erotically aware at a very young age. What was your motivation? How did you end up in this world? You’re doing this for twenty years helping the world confront and understand their sexuality. It’s going to lead to a good transformation. It’s continually important that we are having conversations and communicating about sexuality. Thank you so much for having me and having this conversation. I’m with the most awesome, excellent person I’ve admired for many years. If you’d like to take the quiz, visit /Kandell and check it out. In this show, we talk about her relationship to sexuality, her pitfalls, her challenges and also the concept of her Erotic Blueprint, which has been a powerful force in her own sex life and thousands of other people. She’s one of the best sex educators out there in the business. I have a very special show for you with someone I really respect for years.
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